I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
