lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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