Will you blow on my dice?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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