Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
