My hand turned me down
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
