I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
