It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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