just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
