I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize