how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
