OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
