i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Found your dick twin last night
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
