ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
