drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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