Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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