This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
