I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize