Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
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My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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