If that was your dad, he is hot
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
