Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
