Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize