90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
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I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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