haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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