You can't special order awesome
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
