yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
