All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
