He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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