i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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