dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
