Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
