Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
