so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Farmville is her only friend.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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