I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
