she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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