you guys were way drunker than both of me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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