why im i the only drunk person in the library?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
