You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
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Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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