lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize