He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize