it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
