Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
