great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I love you. Go after that dick
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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