Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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