you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
