You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Come on in and take your pants off
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