I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
