so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize