Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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