pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
