Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
