i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
