Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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