You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
