Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
