What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
