i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
