I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize