We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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