it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
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