i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
