people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
