i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
