Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize