OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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